I.B. Puffnstuff

Seems there’s been a little bit of controversy surrounding the latest stoner film “Pineapple Express.” The question has been posed: Are movies like “Pineapple Express,” “How High,” and “Half Baked” encouraging kids to embrace the mari-ju-wanna?

I’d like to answer this with a resounding “What the #&%@ are you parents doing sending your kids to see these movies in the first place?”

That said, I’ll admit I haven’t seen any of the movies listed above, at least not in their entirety. I did, in my younger days, watch a few Cheech and Chong movies without managing to turn myself into a pothead.

I’ve never been stoned. I tried once and although I did inhale, any beneficial effects must have been lost on me. I can’t even get high correctly, which means my short lived pothead days are over. That’s a good thing. Studies show that most people who overdose are drug users.

I’m just gonna let that one sink in a bit before moving on. Everyone ready? Okay.

At the very heart of it, folks who are high or hopped up are just funny, and that’s all there is to it. I’ve got some vivid memories from college, but one of the most bizarre was from one night walking home from a party at the fraternity house. My roommate and fraternity brother had taken a hit of acid and as we turned onto one of the residential streets that led back to campus, he was suddenly taken with the notion that the trees were going to eat him.

And the kicker is that he was legally blind. Yeah. Helluva punchline, ain’t it.

You couldn’t make this stuff up. If he’d just done it more often (around me anyway), I’d be able to string a screenplay together from the experiences.

Just so there’s no mistake, drugs are bad. Mm-kay? But high people are a good source of comedy, and pretty much are a walking anti-drug commercial. I think they deliver the message a lot better than “From you, Dad! I learned it from watching you!”

So, please America, lighten up.


Don’t you think a good name for the stoner set at Hogwarts would be the Harry Pott-Heads?