Another travesty

When I can no longer be served a double latte pretentia mokachino by a bikini-clad barista, then the terrorists have won.

Actually, I don’t even drink coffee. Frankly, there are vices out there that are a lot more fun. I’m not going into detail; just use your imagination.

You have to admit, though, that crossing the pretension of Starbucks with the cultured nuance of Hooters is a novel concept that could definitely have reached an untapped niche market: awkward teenage boys who want their first experience with frothy milk to be special. Because that’s what every hormonally-charged adolescent male needs—a quadruple shot of caffeine. Hopped up and horny is where it’s at.

This place could also have been a great boon to the Belfair local economy, but I doubt it’s the kind of economic stimulation that President Bush had in mind.

One wonders what kind of health plan the owners of Espresso Gone Wild offered its employees. The combination of exposed skin surface area and the use of products that spout scalding hot steam must have made for some high premiums.

Alas, unless the idea of barista babes catches on in more progressive areas of America like….well….oh, gee…let me get back to you on that.

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